My morning routine involves love. I love myself in the mornings.
It’s not what you think.
I’m certain you are visualizing a step by step process that involves coffee
and toast, but the truth is that my morning routine these past few months has
changed, and now is mostly psychological.
And no, it's also not about a solo sexual event; not that kind of love. It's also not love that stems from the heart - it's a synthetic kind of love with an expiration date of 12PM.
It is in the mornings when I make the most resolutions; Commit
myself to change habits that hinder my growth and my health. It is in the mornings when I love myself the
most and when I commit to making amendments to my behavior. Because I love me.
It is in the mornings when I wake up; most likely slightly
hungover, that I resolve to quit boozing and get back on the wagon. It is in the mornings when I shuffle my way
to the kitchen sink and I get myself a glass of water to start hydrating. It’s at this moments when I feel ashamed of
myself destructive behavior and I commit to stop and I swear to never drink and
to change my ways. Because I deserve to
be healthy, because I am amazing, because I owe it to myself to celebrate me
and not hurt me.
It is also in the mornings when I commit to working out more
and staying on a consistent running regime.
But, it’s not because I want to be healthy that starts up this dialogue,
it’s because I stood in front of the mirror and I spotted all the fat pockets
on my body or watched my muffin top squeeze over my jeans. I will get skinny again, I will get fit, I
will burn off all this fatness.
I love myself in the mornings. The future is bright and positive in the
mornings. All is good until about noon,
then it all changes. As the afternoon
arrives, the healthy Jose seems to evaporate, like Fog. The unhealthy Jose awakens around noon and
takes over and all the morning promises are discarded and replaced with plans
for indulgence. One drink won’t
you! That pastry sure looks tasty; eat
it, you can always just run it off later.
Oh, it’s okay to miss a run, it’s cold out. Etcetera.
It’s just funny that this has been a discussion I’ve been
having with myself every day. The
morning repenting and promises to change my way, following by the afternoon
dismissals, negotiating and justification for doing so – The afternoons are
indulging.
But yes, there is some coffee and toast involved at some
point.
