Let me tell you a little bit about my Halloween this year. You know this is my absolute favorite holiday. EVER. I always look forward to it and I will select a unique character and begin to work on a look months in advance. For the past three years, I've dressed as Amy Winehouse, and all I can way is that my look got better and better over time, and part of me wanted to do it again this year, but I think it's time that I save my Amy for more musical oriented festivities.
This year I ran the Chicago marathon on October 11th. Training and mentally preparing myself for the race took a lot of my time and focus away from Halloween, so that suddenly Halloween was here and I sort of hadn't give it much though.
Initially, my plan had been to go to the Mint in San Francisco, as custom would have it. As you probably know, I have been sober for nearly two years. I never joined an AA program, I just decided that I needed to give it a break and that turned into staying sober. I like it. I like myself better this way. A couple of weeks ago I went to the Mint on a Friday, and I saw a lot of my acquaintances completely hammered and acting like total idiots. It didn't bother me so much that everyone was so fucked up, but it bothered me more to see others that were encouraging the behavior. Alcoholics do that, well.... we all do that - we find ourselves a group of people in which to feel safe and support our vices. Anyhow, I didn't like what I saw and I didn't wanna be in that anymore. So, that's when I realized that my relationship with these people wasn't going to change, they are not going to change... only I can change. So, I figured I'd stay away from the Mint on Halloween. And I did. Plus, Halloween on a Saturday? I expected madness.
So, my friend Ursula and I decided to stay in the East Bay and find a spot to party and sing. We saw this MeetUp group thing that was to meet at 6:30 at Nick's in Berkeley and we agreed to check it out. Now, both Ursula's and my outfit were somewhat complex, it required a couple of hours of prepping and commitment to the character. We were ready to party and get our singing on early in the night.
When we arrived to the place, it turned out that there was an open-mic poetry night from 7:30 to 9:30 PM, followed by a Halloween costume contest and then karaoke... at 10. Really? I was a little bothered with the woman who organized the event; did she not check with the place to ensure that they could accommodate the group or make a reservation? Confirm anything? I was bothered because, both Ursula and I looked amazing and we were going to be stuck in this joint for three hours listening to people jab.
So, yes. I was experiencing a lot of negative emotions. But then the readings began, and some were amazing. They really were. Even though a lot of them were angry opinionated writings coming from angry Berkeley activists, they were still good. So, a positive thought came about: I had been wanting to do something different. I wanted to meet new people. I wanted to branch out. And here I was, doing just that. It was nice to get out of the usual and have people give me something other than alcohol breath. I got words. I got thoughts. I got angry. I got sad. I laughed. I grinned. In the end, although it wasn't what I had in mind, I really enjoyed myself. I did something different.
Ursula won the costume contest. Duh . Hello!! And she won a bottle of champagne. I drank my Beck's nonalcoholic beer from a champagne glass. At some point, I accidentally picked up a glass filled with Champaign and took a sip... the taste was something so familiar and yet so distant. I spit it out and located my fake beer to wash away the taste. It was a shocking moment.
We had fun. We sang, we danced. We cheered for people. It was a nice night. People complimented me on my naughty crazy outfit and on my singing (which of course was Amy). And I even managed to develop a mini-crush on some dude; well... you know me, I'm always attaching myself to straight guys. :)
But then things suddenly turned a little dark. At some point, this flaming gay guy walked into the bar wearing literally nothing - I was no longer the one person showing a lot of skin. I'm not sure if the gay was with other people or by himself, but he was being annoying and taking over people's microphones and inviting himself to sing and dance. It wasn't cute. But apparently, he'd been there before. Ursula turns to me and says "I think that guy has a history of causing trouble here". You know how that is; your local drunk comes in all the time to cause trouble, not buy anything and start a ruckus.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly that happened. The night was already winding down. I had already taken off my 7-inch high heels that I had worn for nearly six hours (I never do that, I'll let you know! I never surrender to the heels.). Ursula and I were just simply sitting there chatting and commenting on the song being sang and how it was probably written by someone with "Mommy" issues as the song talked about nothing other than "mommy". Out of nowhere, from behind us comes a ball of motion and weight unto both Ursula and myself. It was the gay African American guy and the security guard/karaoke Jockey. They were going at it and they were on top of us. Here's where everything just got really dark and bitter for me. The gay guy purposely wrapped himself around my friend Ursula and dragged her down to the floor. There you have it. This ghetto queen is on top of my friend, the KJ is trying to get him off punching him in he face and he won't let go. This is all happening by the karaoke table. Equipment starts flying all over the place - but continues to somehow function; the Mommy singers are still going at it completely either oblivious of what's happening or too committed to their Mommyness to give a fuck : "I must sing." A cup of coffee with too much sugar and creamer that was on the KJ table has now showered my friend. Add a beer to that.
The KJ and the gay thug rolled down some hallway and disappeared, not sure if it was a basement or a hallway, but at least they were off my friend. I was completely shattered. I didn't know what to say or do, or how to repair anything emotional. She' a tough cookie though, she just got up, collected herself and went to get cleaned up.
The Mommy assholes were like "Let's do that again. There were some technical issues." Really? And so they Mommied so more. My friend got back, we sat down for a minute to collect ourselves and then we left. I'm very thankful that she wasn't hurt any worst, but I am sad that this whole thing had to happen. Although I didn't get pulled down in the struggle, I still felt victimized and my security bubble was burst. I went over the scenario again and again on the way home; it all happened so fast - very little time to react. I stunk like over-sugared over-creamed coffee.
What I can't get over though, is how the gay black guy purposed attacked my friend. That was no accident. And I'm really bothered by it. It makes me so angry to think about it.
Thank you Ganesha for letting us get out and go have fun. For allowing us to reach our destinations there and back safely, and for keeping us safe - at least for the most part.
Thank you Berkeley for the poetry. Thank you for the clapping and the positive feedback on my costume. But, not sure I felt safe there; definitely not in drag. I might have to limit my drag efforts for the city and the city only.
Welcome November.
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