Monday, August 11, 2014

A Letter To Amy The Cat


Amy:

I am not going to beat around the bush and I will get straight to the point of this letter:   I am incredibly mad at you right now.  This is the 2nd time that you pee on stuff to express your disagreement over one thing or another – I’m not sure where you got the idea that this was acceptable, but allow me to share with you that it is not.  It’s very rude and disrespectful.  

I am very upset because I have taken these instances very personally, especially since I made room in my life and my home for you.  Jimmy also had to readjust his life and my relationship with him was changed by your arrival.  You didn’t just come in and try to find a place to belong; you came in and took over.  You began attacking Jimmy, you started hoarding my attention, you took over all of the toys… and I was able to overlook all of these until the moment you decided that you didn’t like the litter in the box and that you were going to pee on things that mattered to me. 

You pee on several blankets that were of sentimental value to me; you pee on my leather sofas right between the cushions so that the pee would make its way deep into the space between the two cushions and it would be a bitch to clean… I’ve had to live with the lingering scent of you pee that escaped that area when I would seat down to watch TV – then you had to go do it  2nd time and I finally went and bought Urine remover that is going to ruin the leather sofas for good as it will bleach the leather.  But the one thing that hurt the most was when you urinated on my mattress.  To me, that was the ultimate sign of disrespect. 

You have been a very destructive presence in the house; knocking things off tables and counters without any regard for whether they would break; you’ve chewed on things that were of value to me, you didn’t scratch my sofas…. Even better:  YOU URINATED ON THEM!!!!  I am so furious and hurt and devastated that I don’ know where to begin.  But I do know that your inconsiderate actions have impacted the love that I had for you; I am now resentful of you – and I think what hurts me the most is that you either don’t know or you pretend to not know how I feel.

 I really really value the few things that I own and my old small house and when you target these…. It hurts.  There is nothing worse than coming home to find out that your “beloved” pet has urinated on stuff.  And I know you are not sick – I can tell because you are not lethargic, your eating has not changed nor has your water consumption.  I know you are simply being a bitch and I do not appreciate it. 

I also hope you know that thanks to your actions, I have sworn to never ever again get another cat.  I am going to complete my responsibility with you and my beloved Jimmy and after that, I will not get another cat because the truth is that I simply cannot handle this type of aggression. 

Well, I sure hope you are happy with what you have achieved.

Deeply hurt and angry,

Jose.